I'm really interested to find out how much information you would want to know about your T (not just Val, but anyone). Some of you have told me that having had my own struggles could make me a better therapist because I have been there and know what it's like. But how would you really feel about a therapist who has their own psychological issues?

Self-disclosure can be a good thing for a therapist to do as long as it is limited and appropriate - it has to serve a purpose for helping the client. And some things aren't appropriate to disclose to a client. But sometimes it is good to understand that your T is human too. Sometimes the unequal balance of power with my T just doesn't seem fair to me - he knows everything there is to know about me and I know so little about him. After I mentioned that he started using self-disclosure more, but still not too much. He told me that he has always had ADHD for example, but I'm curious about his family and he never says much about them.

One thing that a few counselors do in order to help establish trust and rapport is they spend some time in the first session and ask something like "Is there anything you would like to know about me?" and then openly answer whatever questions the client asks. Do you think that having a chance to ask your counselor questions about themself would make you feel more comfortable, or would you find that inappropriate?

So, Val, you don't like knowing that your T has health problems. Is that because now you know that she is human? That is the message that I get out of it, and I think it is a good thing to be aware that therapists are people too - that you are interacting with a real person who is trained to help you deal with your problems and is concentrating on you but they have real feeling too and can be hurt. They are not invincible - they are subject to health problems, etc. just like the rest of us. Or because you worry about her, and would rather not have to worry about her in a situation where the focus is supposed to be on you?

A couple of years ago my T cancelled my appointments 3 times in a row because he was sick. Since he's only in town every other week that means it was about two months that he cancelled. I knew that it was because he was sick, but that was all that I was told (and it was the secretary who called to cancel). I think it would have been better if I had been given more information, as I was left thinking he wasn't so sick that he stayed home (he was at the office, but trying to reduce his work load and I could have said no I didn't want to cancel except that I knew he wouldn't ask without having a need so I really wasn't able to be that assertive) and I thought I was low priority because I could be cancelled so easily while other people weren't. After the third request to cancel I didn't reschedule anymore and didn't see him for a year and a half. It might have been different if he had actually talked to me about it himself. I guess that every client is different, and while I appreciate knowing a little about my therapist, maybe not everybody does.

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>