Quote:
Originally Posted by TheByzantine
Hello, Amy. Once you have accepted the life you have is a source of distress, the threshold inquiry is to think about what needs to change to ameliorate the distress and enhance the meaningfulness. Perhaps the dimensions of wellness may work as a framework for looking at change and meaningfulness: http://www.uic.edu/depts/wellctr/dimen.shtml
Once you have gone through this process, you might talk to husband. More particularly, you might ask him if he will work with you on issues that involve you both. You might even ask him if something occurred in his life that explains his blase attitude towards sex. Find out if he would be willing to see a therapist about what he might do to make your marriage more sexual.
This might not be something you want to do right now. Sometimes the fixer in me tramples on the listener.
Be well. |
Thanks so much for this! Tomorrow I am going to sit down with him and talk. Maybe things can and will improve. He is scared to lose me (not like I'm a real prize or anything) but he wants this marriage to work.
I'm comfortable here and don't want to leave but as I said something has to change. I can't walk around feeling undesirable forever. And him telling me he thinks I'm beautiful isn't doing it for me. I need to see it in his eyes, his hands, his actions. I feel I'm missing out on a wonderful part of romantic love and I'm angry and frustrated.
I suppose nothings perfect, but I'm not sure where one draws the line of what is or isn't acceptable. Life can't just be about paying bills and cleaning the house.