You know, I realized that my kids have their own lives long ago. I, too, raised them to be independent and self-sufficient, but I also raised them to have strong family values and family ties, to be respectful and unselfish. Something else I've realized is that they are adults that have given up the family values they were raised with. They've moved away from what they were taught. It's their loss in the end, but damn, it's painful for me no matter how I look at it. We won't mention the issues from my childhood that it brings back. That is MY problem to deal with.

I'm glad for you that you can be happy with whatever happens. I'm not made that way. Since they've all grown up and moved on with their lives, I've had to change much of my own thinking. I've changed it so much that it feels like I could break in two from bending over backwards for them. I do everything within my power to not make waves and to go along with the program as much as possible. With my oldest son "pushing his options" a little bit further, I feel that I'm about to snap... maybe I'm about to snap back. We'll have to see. There's simply no good reason for me to take the back seat to everyone else, get everybody's left-overs time after time. Sorry, no can do.