This ties into the self-worth issue that was mentioned in yet another thread. If we have self-worth, we can believe we are good enough and accept that.....imperfection is a part of being human. It's OK, because we are all imperfect.....imperfect can still be beautiful. However, it's that mirror thing....looking in the mirror at myself it's too easy to see the wart or whatever isn't as good as I think it should be in me....
But if I can look at someone else, say my husband, and see his flaws and warts too, and still think he's wonderful and has great value as a person.....why can I not do the same for myself? Because of a distorted self-image/sense of self- worth...I think it's OK for others to not be perfect, but if I'm imperfect, I'm bad. That the bad is bigger than the good....and I don't deserve compassion or forgiveness for it....
Now.....going to the thought where there are 2 different opinions of myself....I don't know if I really have 2 clear-cut views of myself, one black, one white, so to speak! What I think it is for me is that others have a certain positive view of me....like as an intelligent, competent, capable, strong or stable person, a good mother, etc., which I accept may have some truth in it.....but while I can accept there's some truth in that I simply can't seem to reconcile that positive image with the negative. My self-worth I suppose is not strong to truly blend the positive with the negative and look at myself as a whole and think that I am indeed, all of me, both good and bad together, a 'wonderful and amazing person' (as my T has said a couple times)...