costello: It's kind of weird. I was really irritated that he hadn't washed the dishes. But I wasn't yelling or lecturing. I commented on it then washed the dishes myself. He just sat there the whole time, almost like he didn't notice it was going on. But clearly he had noticed and it effected him fairly deeply. He must have sat there steaming over it and feeling angry at me.

I think it's possible that it could have served to trigger a sense of inadequacy or failure. The anger he may have felt might have been related to himself but that which is distressing to deal with often does get projected outwards. Perhaps he was angry with you because you served to remind him that he doesn't feel competent or that you can't understand him. We could argue that if only he'd have done the dishes he might have felt better but he didn't do the dishes.

Something else to consider is, what was happening for you yesterday? I know there have been times I've walked into my own home at the end of a long day, seen a mess and this has triggered a thought process of my own that might look something like this: Geez, no one did a single thing around here all day. All the work is being left for me! I work hard already, why should I have to come home and clean up after other people too? Sitting just behind those thought processes are some other thoughts that might sound like this if they were spoken aloud: You're being lazy and selfish. I feel put-out. Why do I have to do everything? I feel overwhelmed, tired, and unappreciated. No one is helping me! Truthfully, we don't have to speak these thoughts as they can be conveyed in a sigh, a shrug of the shoulders, a turning of the back, a stony silence.

Meantime, here's some possible scenarios to consider: What if...

- You let the dishes sit there until you really could feel okay about doing them yourself instead of irritated. I have used this approach myself on numerous occasions and so far, somewhat to my disappointment, the dishes have always been patient in waiting.

- You let the dishes sit there until you could talk to your son about them without feeling resentful or angry.

- You said nothing but gave him the opportunity to do the dishes later that evening.

- What if you suggested that the two of you did the dishes together?

How does all that sit with you?

By the same token, in terms of him hitting you... I agree that this is unacceptable behavior. What I'm wondering is if there is a way for you to convey that you won't accept that kind of treatment from him without you having to involve local authorities. What if...

-- You had leapt to your feet, roared, "Don't ever do that again!" and gone to your room or out for a drive?

-- You had hit him back?

--You had sent him to his room or told him to go out for a walk?

-- The two of you had been able to cool off and then later come back together to talk about any of those emotions that were churning under the surface?

I'm trying to choose my words carefully for I'm not wanting to trigger remorse or regret so much as I am different ways of looking at the situation and possible ways of resolving similar situations in the future that will ultimately work to your mutual benefit. Meantime, I know that I wasn't there and there are times when difficult decisions have to be made.

Nonetheless, it concerns me when other forms of authority become involved because what seems to happen is parents and children become even more disempowered and often, more estranged. You still have the same problems to deal with but you also have a new problem that has to be addressed. That problem is legal authorities and they have more power than you do right now. They can now make the decisions for your son's care or lack thereof and you will likely have no voice in that. Neither will he. If it turns out that their decisions help your son, this will be a good thing. If it makes the situation worse, it won't be a good thing for you, him or your relationship.

At this point, I sincerely hope your son either willingly consents to go to a hospital and that ends up being a positive experience for him, or that he's released back into your care and is motivated to do something different.

Another approach would be trying to teach him not to act out in ways that violate societal norms - even when he feels completely justified. Simple rules: Don't hit people. Don't walk into the women's restroom. Period. No matter what. The problem is, I doubt that will work, on either the short or long term.

In the descriptions of your son's behaviors, manic behavior seems to be a more consistent theme. Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of mania. In some forms it can be admired as a form of refreshing spontaneity or healthy refusal to go along with the status quo. More commonly, it seems to present as a violation of social codes and norms -- everything ranging from behavior that might be considered inappropriate or risque to that which is damaging to self and others.

As always, I think the real experts on an experience are the ones who have had it. Some perspectives from those who have personally dealt with mania and the impulsiveness that may come with it may be helpful for attempting to understand your son's state of mind.

SalukiLi: I`m wondering if you can get a nice strong lock for your bedroom door and take all possibly dangerous items out of the house so your son can`t get ahold of them? And can you put a covert lock on the outside of your son`s door, just in case you would need to lock him in if their ever came a time where you would need to in order to be safe?

During my child's manic episodes we did purchase a lock for a door however this was neither to keep them locked in somewhere nor to keep us locked in somewhere. In truth, if I'd ever felt that was necessary I would also accept that as an indication that we had gone beyond our ability to provide care. However, all medications, car keys, credit cards, alchohol -- these items were kept in a locked location. This was a boundary we imposed upon the situation for their sake and our own.