Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Okay, so I took it upon myself to move 3000 miles away from my parents about 2 years ago. Nobody made me to it; it was my decision and had absolutely nothing to do with a job or anything like that. Just wanted a change of scenery.

My dad has a big bug up his butt about the city where I chose to live (long story there but it was a big slap in the face for him). Consequently, he refuses to visit me. Yet, he's 83 years old, my mom is not alive and he is married to a woman he doesn't get along with, and there is both a spoken and unspoken guilt trip imposed if I don't go to see him for the ACTUAL Christmas Day. But the thing is, I took a consulting project in THEIR CITY and have been flying back and forth there almost every week for 15 months, just so I can see them more often. This fall, I was away from my house every single week except for 2, and some weekends, either in Philly or in S. America. I just got back on Saturday. I have to go down to S. America again for work in 2 weeks, and will have to stay for 7 weeks solid. The last thing I want to do is get on a plane tonight. Especially given the terror warnings.

Mind you, although I like Christmas, I don't get bent out of shape if it's nothing more than a phone call and maybe a nice dinner at home. Doesn't have to be on the EXACT day, though. However, I'm being a bit hypocritical when I say that, but will save that topic for another time.

Anyway, to make a short story long, I'm going to Philly. I'm leaving tonight at 7pm, arrive in Philly tomorrow at 6am, and my flight back leaves at 5:50pm, arriving in Portland at midnight. They can't say I didn't spend Christmas with them. But I have to say, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my resentment so that it doesn't come gushing out after the first sip of my mimosa tomorrow morning. I'm resentful that they won't visit me, even though neither of them work. I'm resentful that they didn't say "look honey, I know that you're not home very often, so why don't we celebrate Christmas one of the weeks when you're here" (which is often, b/c of the job). I'm resentful that they aren't calling me today to say "honey, we're concerned about the terror threat alert, and we don't want you to take the risk of flying tonight".

I have made it clear that my preference is to stay home for all of the reasons above. I'm good about speaking my mind. But I'm bad about just saying NO when it comes to something that's supposed to be all about family, because when my dad says "this could be my last Christmas".... I know that he could be right. I don't particularly get along with my dad, but I do love him and he is my only parent left. I know that once he goes, I will be so filled with guilt and regret that I will need serious therapy. I've worked on this with my therapist a lot this year already and it has helped a bit, but I am feeling very conflicted right now.

I just wanted to get it off my chest. No reply needed unless you know some way of cheering me up. Jokes are good.

We are ALL going to be a-ok!