My Support Forums - View Single Post

(JD) · Jan 22, 2011, 01:53 PM

There are several ways to go on this, but I think for your own sake, you need to do something.

I see her telling you as a sign of a cry for help. Of course, we can't be sure what kind of help she thinks she needs. I think you've already decided it's worth your friendship for the sake and safety of the children, if it should go awry. Be very careful how you word things, you never know when someone will turn on you, legally.

Speak to the husband. Don't put anything in writing? He may not know just what to do, and may need a gentle (or stronger) nudge to do the right thing.

Have alternatives/options ideas for the husband as he might be saying there isn't anything he can do (cost in money, time, frustration.)

Does your friend have a therapist? Can you help her find one and hold her to the task of reporting back to you about her first session?

Can you locate an AA in her area for her? It's impossible to get through to a drunk when they are drunk.

THIS you could put into writing, all the options and your concerns.

You might also get her agreement for you to contact a local church group, for instance, on her behalf, and give out her phone number etc.

Do you have knowledge of any other family, her folks, for instance? Calling them might enable them to take better care of watching for the safety of the children.

Yes, contacting the local authorities is a viable solution, and one you must do if nobody in the household corrects the situation. But that will not only end your friendship, but will wreak havoc on the parents for the supposed safety of the children. Unfortunately, removing children from a home for their safety can put them in other dangers. It's a tragedy, for sure. At least they are now with people who love them, but just don't know how to take care of them--or even themselves.

Never underestimate the power of prayer.

You're a good friend for caring. Take good self care of yourself and realize your own boundaries and needs.