Child protective services won't take them away just because you called. They will just have a look for themselves and determine if something needs to be done - which may be nothing, may be parenting classes, may be a warning - lots of possibilities.

Although on rare occasion child protective services may overstep their bounds, mostly they don't want to take children away unless there is no other option. The good caseworkers know that the best place for the child is usually with the parent, though sometimes the parent may need help being a good parent. Even with the caseworkers who do shoddy jobs, if there isn't a grandparent sitting right there, if they take the kids away, that caseworker now has to find a place to put the kids, and whether or not there is a grandparent there, they have to go in front of a judge and explain why they took the kids away, and risk going to jail if they didn't do everything by the book. It's at least as common that a complaint will get ignored, or not gotten around to, as it is to have an overzealous caseworker.

You already said that you called and sat on hold forever. If you are really concerned for the children, you will keep sitting on hold until someone gets to your call (don't bother on weekends or holidays - you didn't call on Martin Luther King Day, did you?). If you are just meddling, a couple of hours on hold might not seem worth it.

I can't imagine why you would want to get back at her for screwing up for the umpteenth time. It is herself that she is hurting the most.

Calm down first. The only way that you can see what is truly in your heart is if you look at your motives when you are in a good and clear state of mind. You probably can't tell from where you are whether the 5 year old is able to watch the 3 year old while Mom is asleep (some are mature enough, some are not - and it also depends on the 3 year old) though if the parents are dependent on the 5 year old too much and too often, it is not good for the 5 year old. Obviously leaving a 3 year old and a 5 year old alone while she goes to the store is a bad idea. Even if it's a short trip, things can happen fast - and what if she gets in an accident or something else happens while she's out? The short trip could turn into a long ordeal.

This sounds callous, but the last thing that I would worry about is her friendship. If one of her children dies, she will blame you for not stepping in at this point. The tip to child protective services is supposed to be anonymous, so you may have nothing to worry about there anyway. If you call, just be very clear about what you do know and what you don't know, and how and why. I'm sure the professionals have been trained in how to sort out the facts from unwarranted concerns, starting right from the telephone interview with you.

You have a tough decision, and I'm sorry that you are in that position. If everything is as you have presented and emotions did not blow the situation out of proportion, I vote that you call child protective services and trust that they will do the right thing.