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madisgram · Jan 22, 2011, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (JD)

There are several ways to go on this, but I think for your own sake, you need to do something.

I see her telling you as a sign of a cry for help. she has thought even in the recent past that i am the "cure". i told her i am not. it's up to her and God.Of course, we can't be sure what kind of help she thinks she needs. I think you've already decided it's worth your friendship for the sake and safety of the children, if it should go awry. Be very careful how you word things, you never know when someone will turn on you, legally.good advice, thanks.

Speak to the husband. Don't put anything in writing? He may not know just what to do, and may need a gentle (or stronger) nudge to do the right thing.he's 16 years clean and sober but has not done anything but try to keep children from being so upset when she's stumbling drunk.

Have alternatives/options ideas for the husband as he might be saying there isn't anything he can do (cost in money, time, frustration.)his solution when he discovers her drunk is to not go to work til she sobers up. i know he loves her but he is enabling her in a different way. they have 7 children still at home-ages 16 to 3.

Does your friend have a therapist? when i visited at xmas i got her to see a psychiatrist, diagniosis-bipolar and alcoholic/drug addict, put her on lithium. know she's not continued her med. Can you help her find one and hold her to the task of reporting back to you about her first session?

Can you locate an AA in her area for her? yes she's gone to AA, knows the "drill".she's tried to get sober for the 16 years i've known her. used to sponsor her when i lived there. It's impossible to get through to a drunk when they are drunk.

THIS you could put into writing, all the options and your concerns.

You might also get her agreement for you to contact a local church group, for instance, on her behalf, and give out her phone number etc.saw her priest over xmas re this.

Do you have knowledge of any other family, her folks, for instance? know all of the family, folks included, for 16 years. they've hospitalized her, rehabbed her and absolutely are spent emotionally.Calling them might enable them to take better care of watching for the safety of the children.emailed her mom re this after this recent episode. friend's parents tho/elderly.

Yes, contacting the local authorities is a viable solution, and one you must do if nobody in the household corrects the situation. But that will not only end your friendship, but will wreak havoc on the parents for the supposed safety of the children. wish children to be in the care of their dad not child services and not taken out of the home but father doesn't move on this prob. Unfortunately, removing children from a home for their safety can put them in other dangers. It's a tragedy, for sure. At least they are now with people who love them, but just don't know how to take care of them--or even themselves.

Never underestimate the power of prayer.

thanks re this. been praying bout this for 16 years.

You're a good friend for caring. Take good self care of yourself and realize your own boundaries and needs.

u're right. i am upset but have accepted the fact that this is over unless she steps up to the plate alone and helps herself. i don't think that will be the outcome. i believe she will die, unfortunately. lost best girl friend many years ago due to this disease and know that is a reality.

yes, jd, i need to step back altogether with this friendship-thanks. i'm so upset. feel helpless but know i can't help her. i've tried. didn't work. she's hell bent for destruction. it's the children i care about now.
sorry for long reply but the situation i've known firsthand. that's why i'm in flux over what to do/not do. child services were involved once re all this. 2 yr.old was found by police walking down busy road unattended. the saga continues...
any response after more facts? maybe i need to let things go altogether but i love those children. torn because of this.