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Thank you invisigirl,krazy P, Luce and Kasva. This search obviously touches on a nerve close to the core. Big time abandonment by the Mother as a child....that touching on the departure of the first T that i had for many years, and then losing the t due to distance and 24/7 care taking responsibilities, all compounded by trying to find a new T in a mental health system that needs help. this is an opportunity to properly process this damaged nerve...but.....you can see my dilemma....no T. i plan to focus on breathing and something more positive. i will try to leave that nerve alone...for a while.....it is so sensitive and painful it is more than likely to inspire a SI response or worse. however i will check out the Kathy Broady person.....just read stuff....tread very lightly....very softly....even tiptoe around this subject.
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