I started this thread, and YES this makes a lot sense. Being a caregiver, and the tremendous amount of stress that entails, does make me feel inadequate at home. In my profession, I am skilled and trained, (went to college) and step right into that role when I get to work.

Being a caregiver, is not something that I went to college or caregiver school to learn. You are just thrown into a role of having to be a nurse, physical therapist, occupational therapist, expert in wheelchair and hospital bed maintenance, learn to do transfers and lifts, ostomy and catheter care, etc.... I am doing a pretty good job of it, but I do not feel like I am the best at it.

I don't feel that I am adequately fulfilling a nurturing role at home. I am so stressed out by the enormous amount of work it takes to care for a quadriplegic spouse, that I constantly feel that I fall short of the mark. It doesn't help that I don't want to be in this role. That may sound harsh to some of you, but if you haven't been thrown into something like this, you don't know how you will react.

Yes, some of you may judge me and think I am horrible for admitting that I do not want to do this for the rest of my life. This job is hard for me. No matter how much you love someone, this is not an easy way to live. Your spouse's very life and existence depends on your ability to care for him and to do it right.

Thus, my thoughts that there are two sides to me. A professional one, and one that feels like I can't do anything right and I am a failure.