Desirae -- first off, welcome to the forums. It seems like you're going through a terrible time in your life right now. If you're looking for someone to talk to, you've come to the right place. This forum is full of really great, supportive people who will listen.

Given everything you're going through, would you consider talking to a professional? It can be really helpful. You can call your county gov't and ask for the mental health department. They might be able to hook you up with a counselor, and maybe even help you find someone to babysit while you do.