costello: I think last night he hit my "why are you ignoring my needs" button. That's why it made me so mad. He regularly ignores all my requests to respect my needs. It's very hard to say to someone, "Please don't do that. This is very important to me" and have them go right ahead and do it. I feel like I've been spit on.

I recall there were times when my child invaded my own boundaries or disrespected critical needs of my own. It is very difficult not to take it personally. I remarked to a friend at the time, "It's like if someone's been drinking and they throw a punch at you. You know that if they hadn't been drunk it wouldn't have happened but that doesn't make the punch hurt any less."

I had to remind myself (and others too) many times over -- this is "mania / depression / psychosis". It's not them. It's not who they are.

I found it challenging to try and determine when consequences of any sort should be applied and if so, what kind or what degree of consequences. Like you, I also found it necessary to set boundaries and rules. For example, "No marijuana" was a rule but because I was very much aware they couldn't take care of nor provide for themselves at that time, we agreed that a consequence could not be, "If you use it again you have to leave and fend for yourself." Instead, consequences came in other forms, like having a mother who was angry with you.

It's a fine line. I don't think there are any easy answers.

Please keep us posted on what is happening with your son.

~ Namaste