Thanks Belle1979. "same as you, I have to love me before hand... but it gets lonely and facing a world set up for couples is hard".

Yes! It's taking a very long time to love me first, and meanwhile it IS lonely, especially being in a couple-oriented society.

"...wish I could find the right one Am online dating and there are ups and downs.. usually the ones I don't like are the ones that are super keen "

In my 20's and 30's, I'd meet "nice guys", who, in my immaturity and egotism, seemed boring. The exciting ones, also egotistic, didn't stick around. Sure wish I'd find one of those nice guys now. Good luck to you.