costello: I understand he would have to initiate any calls, so I'll have to wait.

It's probably not a crime for you to call. The worst that can happen is they'll tell you they can't tell you anything, and even then, they probably will tell you at least a little bit.

I'm just hungry for someone I can throw around ideas with who won't suggest I force medications or kick him out.

What has happened is a form of breaking point. It changes the energy flow although we can't know in what way the energy will flow from here. Maybe resentment. Maybe anger or hurt. Maybe something else. Meantime, I can only see your son and his experience through your eyes so I don't know what his space is like but I would think this might be a good renegotiation point, provided that he is capable of talking about such things. We do have to choose our words carefully and we have to try and be aware of the places where we get triggered or are vulnerable to hurt. If that's happening, a time-out can be a good idea.

Something I still see as very important is support for you. I would hope you continue to seek that out, both online and locally.

It might also be worth revisting the medication issue. As noted elsewhere, people may sometimes to be opposed to one class of medication but open to using other forms of medication. The greed and lies of the pharmaceutical industry aside, some people do identify them as helpful. Those who are strenuously opposed may still be willing to consent to short term or emergency use terms only. Having a choice can make a difference as can agreeing on a trial period and sticking with it.

So mentioned that Will Hall believes that a person in recovery shouldn't be in his parent's home, because they'll trigger each other. That's certainly been my experience. She mentioned a Soteria House in Alaska. She said the other places she could think of were very expensive.

As you observed, it's sucky. I hope you and your son are able to talk soon and perhaps, work out a better arrangement. It may be that your son cannot live with you right now and perhaps, the shelter is the only suitable alternative. It might also be helpful to have your care worker investigate adjacent counties or programs. If he is going to return to your home, I would also encourage you to keep working on that care team so that people are coming into your home through the day, at least a few days a week. I think part of the issue in regard to triggering factors isn't just the parent/child relationship, it's the unrelenting aspect of it. No one else is present to help break up or shift the energy in different directions.

Meantime, I wonder if it might be possible for you to make some different work arrangements that might see you get home a bit earlier each night or even take a day or half-day off work each week. If you used that time to sleep, it might help you cope better with the stresses that are part and parcel of caring for someone in an early stage of recovery.

I'll continue to hold you and your son in my thoughts.

~ Namaste