bmee i am so sorry u are going through all this and without t. i really hope you can find someone ... wish i could help but it is so sad that yu cannot find t. makes me so crazy mad about mental health in the usa...i will think of you and your stuggles and think many good things come your way. HOLD ON... just hold on.... sometimes that is all you can do... and things change... but for now hold on!! we care!!