Quote:
Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD
For me, it took FOREVER to realize this. The other person is just another flawed individual, like me. My need for validation, love and nurturing is so great and I saw this other person as the answer to all that. I placed them on a pedestal, because I needed them to be all that I am lacking. What's more, I thought that individual was the only one who was like that & miracle of miracles, I had found them! I must do whatever I had to do to keep them, no matter how extreme.
Then, when things started falling apart, my world was ending. All hope was gone.
I am not saying this is what is going on with you. This was just my experience. It literally took me decades to realize that the other person was just a person & couldn't "fix" me somehow. Honestly, I still struggle with it sometimes.
I know it seems like an obvious fact, but it wasn't to me. I wonder if other BPDers have/had the same struggle?
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MDD- Yes, this is exactly what is going with me right now. Although intellectually I *know* that no one is perfect, I really believed he was. And he's not. He is not going to fix me.
And now my world is falling apart and I don't know what to do about it. I am trying not to obssess about it but my mind just defaults. I distract myself but sooner or later the thoughts come back stronger than ever. And so the cycle continues... I feel like I *need* someone to help me with this but no-one knows apart from T and he just doesn't understand or care.
Thanks everyone for your replies- it helps when other are going through/have been through similar things and have come out the other side
