Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I also have problems liking/loving myself in spite of being complimented by my parents for many behaviors and talents. I KNOW I was loved without a doubt in my mind. I grew up not having confidence in my abilities, and today feeling like a failure in some areas. My parents may have goofed somewhere, but I know they valued me and loved me.
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I think knowing our parents valued/loved us is not the same as their being able to teach us to love/value ourselves. I think, rainbow, that part of the reason you and I grew up anxious is because our mother's "taught" us their anxiety. That's what we saw/learned. Fortunately, because it is learned, we can learn other behaviors that are more comfortable/helpful to us now.
I knew I was loved but I don't think my stepmother loved/valued herself very well. I had a split lesson on that, fortunately some of my very early life gave me lessons on valuing myself so I knew there was such a thing when it came time to work on that in therapy.