Not getting what is needed doesn't mean failure of parents intentionally. It just means that many of us believe that psychological difficulties begin in the developmental period of our lives and form patterns that we follow unconciously the rest of our lives, unless we learn about them to see where they lead us and if there is another way of looking at/thinking about things. Our parents, saints or not, happen to be the persons who were the ones we were our primary caregivers during the developmental period.

I haven't achieived in life what I wanted to because of decisions I made, but the decision-making is complex. Exploring the depth of why decisions were made helps me understand them, to not judge myself harshly for making them, to be kinder and gentler and more understanding to me.