I'm glad that you are asking your T for help.....right now you have every reason and right to be needy and to ask for help!
And emotions are messy, complicated things......not quite as cut and dried as would be more comfortable for us sometimes! Like Echoes said, it's ok to feel sad/sorry for him without having to act on those feelings. It's ok to feel sad/sorry for him and still steel yourself to do these things that must be done to take care of the situation and allow him to face well-earned consequences! You're human, it's ok to have conflicting feelings....
But you sound like you are doing all that needs to be done, seeking support where you feel moved to do so, taking care of yourself. I'm glad you have the illustrating to serve as something else to focus on; that will be good for you to have something else to do, to distract your mind a while.