Poet, I just read the first article you posted a link to. I agree that my "self" is still dependent on my T, the "other", and if she were to die or move away right now I'd be devastated. But she knows my issues and is working with me to develop my "self" and have inside of me what I need so I will not need an "other" like her. That's why I think she's so quick to pick up on anything that will help me have more of a self, like feeling the beauty of my surroundings, for example. There's more than 1 way to skin a cat!