granite, aww, you're so sweet. Thank you and bunches of hugs.

I don't know how to answer the rest of you. I feel like I'm in the middle of an intense session and I can't cope. I just want to say my T has been aware of the high probability that I would attach to her from Day 1. This attachment is different from anything I've ever experienced, and she thinks it is healing for me. She has never deviated from the goal of getting me to care for my SELF, and not have her be so important to me. We are in the middle of working on why I want the good feelings/love from her, and how to hold onto the feelings I do get from her. We are working with EMDR to get me unstuck from the "not good" feelings from my past.

The email situation is important and seems to be about how I cope with my needs being met or not being met, and with disappointment. If I am manipulating my T, it's the same as I did with my former T, about phone calls. She called it manipulation; I called it "getting my needs met." My current T will probably say to accept the part that needs/wants the attention from her, to be curious about it, and not punish myself for having those needs. to everyone for your honesty even though it makes me cry.