Hi Rainbow --

Sorry I'm late to this thread -- but, for what it's worth, I don't think you were 'manipulating' your T. I agree that you and she set some boundaries, tried them, discussed them, and decided to change them. I followed the threads -- it sounds like both of you were having an honest discussion about your emails. I think your T sounds great -- she sounds like she's a warm and caring person, and a skillful and dedicated therapist. She sounds like she does enjoy you. And, I really like it that she seem like she's really committed to being a genuine person with you. I like it that she's so honest, even (especially) about her own uncertainties. (And, also, forgive me if this is too personal, you have seemed much more relaxed since you been working with her.)

I think boundaries need to be clear, and discussed. But I don't think they need to be written in stone. Situations can change. Boundaries can be found to be unhelpful. Flexibility is important -- Rigidity for the sake of rigidity is no help at all -- even kind of pathological. (Remember that rigidity -- the lack of ability to adjust to changing situations -- is a characteristic of personality disorders!!)

So I guess Rainbow that I'm disagreeing with most of the posters on this thread. My take on this is that you should continue to trust your T's judgment, since she's helped you so much so far. Remember that this is only a message board, and that the folks who are criticizing your T's behavior don't know enough about the situation to criticize her with any kind of plausibility whatsoever.

Take care,
-Far