Rainbow, I totally agree that you do not need to punish yourself for having any type of need whatsoever. You are not 'bad'. Nothing you are doing is 'bad'.
'Manipulation' has such a negative connotation to it, but manipulation is something all of us do everyday, in most encounters with others - it is NOT a 'bad' thing in itself, although it can be used badly in certain circumstances. I wish there were a less negatively charged word to use to describe how we adapt our actions, words and behaviours to achieve desired outcomes, whether that be consciously or unconsciously.
I wonder if it feels like we are all 'attacking' your T to you? I can't speak for others, but I can tell you I am not. I do think she made a mistake in this circumstance, but one mistake does not make her a bad T. On the whole I think she does a great job of working with you and helping you explore your issues.
Take a deep breath and give yourself a hug, hun. You're doing good work.