ok i'm going to vent a bunch here.i don't drive due to having epilepsy.plus i can't rely on my family and so called friends.well several times this winter there has been 6 inches of snow on the ground for like a week.nobody has offered to take me to the store in this weather or good weather for that matter.everyone in my family thinks i should just use public transportation or get a ride from my social worker.but i can't take the bus when there is 6 inches of snow.in the past i have taken the bus in bad weather and then i have fallen in the snow.i could use some help every now and then.but the few times i asked for help i'd get excuses or they'd tell me they'd come and get me but never show up.things like this get worse the longer i live here.all i want is some love and support from my family.i feel at times like i'm dying inside and i feel a lot of bitterness and hate for my family and others.plus i wish i could meet new people and make new friends.but i'm scared of being mistreated by people.i have been burned by most people i have known.also scared that people will judge me because i don't drive,don't work etc.i'm not social like i use to be.i'd rather be alone most of the time then have people hurt me.a few weeks ago a relative of mine was in the hospital for a few days.this relative and his wife are the 2 i have had the most problems with.i never went to visit him mostly because my lack of transportation and the fact he has never been there for me.my mother called me selfish for not going to see him in the hospital.but it would take 3 different buses just to get to the hospital the jerk was in.nobody in my family offered to pick me up and take me to see the relative in the hospital.even though they went to the hospital to see him.i might add that most of my family members live less then 5 miles from me.the family members that never offered me a ride gave me a hard time about me not visiting my uncle in the hospital.i was wondering how can i make new friends that will actually treat me well?also i never really told many in my family how i feel.ok a few times i have and just heard lame excuses from my family.but it's been years since i have said anything to my family.in the past before i moved here 18 years ago i had a few close friends that where like family.but the last 18 years my relationships have pretty much sucked.the last 10 have been the worst out of the 18 years.been single since 2000.i feel like a total loser when it comes to relationships.i have been asked out on dates.but the guys who have asked me out are gross,weird,married etc.why do i keep attracting losers?i have heard the saying u teach people how to treat you.maybe i'm stupid but i don't totally understand that.i kind of do but i don't.i just wish things would get better.