I'm so sorry things have taken this turn. First off you need to ask yourself: If he does go to the doc and attempts to get better, will things be better FOR YOU? Women tend to grieve the end of the relationship while in it when men tend to grieve after it's over. So for some women, after they have been unhappy for a long time, they will be over the guy/relationship before they even end it. So, do you think your and his feelings are salvageable? I'm guessing yes or you wouldn't have posted here.

Second, do you feel like he is afraid to go to the doc bc they inevitably means reliving those terrible experiences? I could definitely understand being okay with masturbation but not sex. I could also see how even sex with someone he cares about very much could bring on those memories and make it a terrible experience.

In that case, it might take a little more coaxing on your part to get him to deal with these issues. Not just for you, but him too. If this is so deep rooted in him and he doesn't seek counseling, he will never be in a happy, productive relationship.

However, I would try to make it as sensitive as possible. Not accusing like "why can't you just go to the doc?!" y'know? Like make sure he understands that it's because you care about him, and that it's for his own personal growth, plus the growth of your relationship.

I really hope you two can work this out. After almost 6 years together, it definitely deserves a chance. You might just need to remind yourself of why you fell in love with him in the first place....what makes you happy about him etc...whenever things get rough and you start to doubt yourself or him. Good luck!