Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
More often than not, our parents help instill their behavioral quirks within us. As children we learn by example and experience. It makes sense that you've developed intimacy issues.

I think that you can try this and that and force yourself to try to get over your issues but you'll never get anywhere unless you understand them and choose to open yourself to them.

You don't necessarily need therapy. There are many possibilities for independent research. The internet and books.
Understand that this is not who you are but a bi-product of behavior you have been programmed to preform.

Start small, brushing a hand against your husbands, letting your motherly instincts guide you when your children are distressed.
Intimacy is not just physical touch but emotional closeness. Being open to these things makes you feel vulnerable.
I think if you choose to open yourself to your issues you could overcome this barrier and feel great rewards from intimacy with your family.