Welcome to PC fog, sorry you need the site. Yes, that is a huge amount of stressors.. for a lifetime! Why are you fighting the medication? I wish I could take an AD to assist me... Please go back to the dose your doctor wants you on, and work in therapy sessions to change ... IMO you are one of the ppl who need talk therapy to help change brain chemicals and reactive feelings... heavy duty work... but I think, with all you have lived through... you can do it. TC