Thank you everyone. Me and my fiance are going to be moving in about a month back to my home state. I had an AMAZING therapist there whom I will be contacting immediately when I get there. She dealt really well with my bipolar.

To answer Yagalada question no he does not go to anyone for his PTSD. He did go for a while to a VA doctor/therapist but stopped because he was having issues with the VA. I have urged him to go back and see someone but I think he is waiting till we move to find someone else.

He has slight memory issues because of the PTSD which makes it extreamly hard for him to remember anything we talk about so his recount of it can get way off from what actually happened and not to mention he sometimes doesn't remember things I say that bother me. This of course sets off my bipolar just because I have trust issues and it makes me feel like he is lieing. I am very picky with details and when he can't remember something it makes me so angry .

I never want to get angry and yell at him. Even when I don't want to it is like an automatic response and I hate it. I feel so bad that he has to deal with me sometimes. I am always afraid he will leave me because of my disorder one day. I have had a lot of abandonment issues because of my disorder. Friends not wanting to be around me when they found out I had problems. Kids parents telling them to stay away from me when I was younger because of the problems. My own father stopped visiting me because of them (words from his own mouth). Because of all this I have been very introverted about my problems to people :/. I am so happy I have a community I can come to now where I know no one will think I am "crazy".

My fiance is also a member of this forum. I think he may become more active on this side if he ever needs advice. I really hope he does so instead of trying to talk to his friends about my bipolar and them thinking I am insane and telling him to leave :C.