I made a list of goals 10 years ago, and I have accomplisshed most of them. HOwever, I am not happy. My goals where, learn to drive, buy a car, get a college degree, get married, adopt a child (but I couldn't because I got cancer, though now I am fine) , belong to a gym, have a paid off home, have some cosmetic surgery, work and through it help the community, travel, learn to swim, learn to play piano. Anyway, right now I am lazy, desorganized, my home is a mess, I am not that happy in my job, I am not going to the gym or taking care of myself, I procrastinate and isolate myself. When freinds call I don't return their calls. I don't have clarity about what is going on with me. I think a lot about my sister who died 2 years ago and left her son to me, he is an young adult but lives with us and is a brat, to say the least. I feel mad at her and guilty for feeling that way. Lately I have been thinking that it would've been better if I was never born, my parents didn't want me, they mistreated me. My life has been a series of sufferings, dissapointments, betrayals, insults, abuse, social embarrasement gallore, and the positives have cost me sweat and tears. I am tired.