Thanks sugahorse. Yes, we have talked about it. We've talked about it in three sessions and three phonecalls and endless text messages. To no avail. I am trying not to text her or see her, because my distress is manageable when we are not in contact, whereas it shoots through the roof when we're communicating.

I don't think it's something in her life- she always tells me when it is. It's a reaction to me. It feels more like she was prepared to invest a lot in me when she got something back (I was demanding, certainly, but I was very loving, highly compliant, and 'responded well to therapy'), but now that is gone from my side, I'm just a complaining nusciance. As an example: I'm allowed one phone call a week with her. This week's phone call was supposed to be last night. She didn't call or text. I texted her to ask if we were finished. She replied ten minutes after the last possible time she would have called saying no we weren't finished but she had lots of calls to make and her daughter was refusing to sleep. The last bit said 'I do know this will upset you- sorry for that'. I believe her about the calls and her daughter. But I also feel certain (from 18+ months of experience) that she would never ever have treated me like that before- not called, and then been so casual about not calling and about the effect of not calling when she knows I'm very distressed and feeling terrified about our relationship.

I don't think this is a rupture. I think I believe you have to be in relationship in order for there to be a rupture. We are not in relationship. I left first, then she checked out. It's just a very very unexpected ending.