Squiggle, I sense you may do this as a way to protect yourself. Perhaps in the past, big trouble would start off with a very small thing. Just a slight comment. The next thing you knew, the entire world had blown up.

When we are young, we go over things at night - over and over and over - trying to make some sense of our world. We try to see how we missed the signs. What was it that we should have paid attention to before the world imploded on us? Was it that single comment of "Oh, so you think you had a bad day?" Was it the sly look that neighbor gave us??? What did we miss??? What could we have seen that would have allowed us to escape the damage BEFORE the entire universe burst into flames?

That is how PTSD works. It stinks. But maybe that will give you some stuff to think about for your own healing. Tons of hugs and remember that our responses now are the result of our learning from what we thought were our mistakes.