So...tomorrow my husband is coming to session with me! I feel like a mix of this >> this > and this > with some 'it will be OK, not as hard/bad as I think' all together!
It's something my T suggested a while ago when my husband was wondering why I needed to be in therapy still, but didn't insist on. However, a few days ago, he said, I think I want to come with you! Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather.....I didn't think he was anywhere near that thought or desire! But bless his heart.....he does understand that I am having some serious struggles, that this therapy stuff will probably take a while, and he wants to understand better what he can do to help and support me. So, I told T this and she was like 'that's brilliant' (she likes that word )!
We made up an agenda yesterday. And she had me journal how I felt about him coming.....one thing I wrote was this: 'that I was afraid I would be caught between 2 people who care and have nowhere to hide'. She said, 'that's it right there....you know you will be with 2 people who care about you, you are afraid you will want to hide, but not be able to....because you like to hide!' Amen, sister, that is it in a nutshell indeed!
So I'm just trying to keep in a calm place about it and accept that it's OK if I can't hide......and that it will be OK if I don't hide, especially from those who do care and want to help.