I see T this afternoon. I can't wait. I need that time just for me. It's so weird because a few days ago I was SO SURE I never wanted to see or talk to her again. But then yesterday when I talked to her I told her that I was afraid to come and see her because I was sure something catastrophic would happen. She said " like what?" and I said I'm afraid I'll walk in there and she'll say she can't see me anymore.

She told me that won't happen. She said that will never happen, that when we "close" it will be planned and gradual and agreed by both of us. I know she's told me that before, but then things got so crazy and I got scared T said that's OK, t that she will keep telling me as many times as I need to hear it.