Quote:
Originally Posted by Emotional Ninja
Okay people, I'm 59 and I've been annoyed by small talk since I was six. There is absolutely nothing wrong with finding small talk banal and useless. When I was a kid I was painfully shy. As I grew older I grew tired of the pain and made the decision to do something about it. My solution was to pretend. I acted like the others, studied them, became them. Yes, it was exhausting. But in the end it paid off. Eventually it became second nature, then first nature. I learned to wear the mask of so called normal society so well that it became effortless. Boy has it made life easier. Now I can make conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime. I have become a chameleon. T says it was my coping mechanism. Don't know about that, but fitting in (even if you have to fake it) is easier than being an outcast. There is an old saying I love, quote " I dont suffer fools gladly", and I still don't. But I do tolerate them. Plus people (who have no clue I am really), love me! I find it hilarious. I only use my powers for good to try to help people. I never try to manipulate others for my benefit. One final tip. Try to steer the conversation towards others. Believe me, people love to talke about themselves, I know I do. HA! And it has the side benefit of taking the pressure off you. Win, Win. Really hope this helps all of you. Sorry for your pain. Mine has been a long and painful road. I cam empathize. Check my profile. It might give you some idea about the real me. Best to all of you. Good luck.
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(First off, i usually don't lurk this forum; i'm BP, and a little borderline. But we all suffer depression at some point, some more then others. )
But holy moly... you too act like a chameleon to people. I thought I was the only one; but that too was, and still is, one of my major coping skills. (It becomes an extreme sometimes, but we won't get into that here.)
But it really depends on my mood, but for this forum, when i'm depressed I have the classic example of apathy in anything and everything. I had it bad this summer when I quit doing everything I once thought enjoyable; watching TV, watching anything, playing video games, reading... the only thing that kept me going was music. And only angry, or lifeless music like DJ cuts and noise/scream-electro.
Even to this day, when i'm depressed i loathe small talk, and prefer deep insightful chats about depressive subjects, and the psychology of others. (I have an immense interest in learning about other people's psych history, so i can best emulate them.)
But as a sufferer of BP, and depressive episodes, i can relate to complete and utter lost of interesting in all things.