Thank you Sugahorse- that was a really helpful question for thinking through the implications of what's happening.

No. No new therapist. I came into DBT to overcome chronic sui. It worked- however much this loss is hurting, I'm not sui. The next part we were going to do (schema therapy) would have addressed the attachment vulnerability and the patterns and parts of me that don't feel grown up. I totally trusted that this would be resolved within this relationship. Now I'm face to face with the probability that it never will be. If she couldn't do it, noone can. I say this with a lifetime of experience with people who 'tried to help'. This time, we really had *everything* going for us.

So I guess my plans going forward are to cling to the DBT skills for dear life, and to guard my heart closely and work very hard to manage the attachment vulnerability as best I can alone. Is it the life I had finally dared to hope for? No. Will I be able to endure it till I die? I hope so.