I have 2 sisters. The one elder to me is Mona and we have an eldest one as well.

Mona has always been very manipulative towards me and I never figured this out until recently when I was in therapy. She'd be nice to me as per her convenience, when she needed advice or needed to borrow something of mine. At other times, she was mean as hell! Telling me things like I wish i had a dog instead of you as a sister, why didn't you die when you were born, and much more as a kid.

Well, now i'm 27. And I've made the conclusion that I really don't like her. All my life I tried to be nice to her because I felt something must be wrong with me, especially since my mom always told me I'm so rude and mona is so nice and diplomatic and I should be more like her, I should learn from her... because she was nice to everyone but me or she'd be nice when my mom was watching.. and then different behind her back.

Well today, she was describing these relatives we have who in my opinion are a lot like my sister. She was saying that they're materialistic, and mean, etc etc. And for a while I kept biting my tongue but then it blurted out, and i said "wow, i know someone in our family that's like that as well..."

Okay! So maybe i started it first but I just can't stand seeing her, I have so much pain associating with her. I don't know if that's normal?

Anyway, She started saying "Look what she's doing mom! Is this why you guys call me over? (She's married) To start with me???"

And she turned the whole thing towards me. Fine. But this is ALWAYS THE CASE. Even if i speak normally to her and say "when you did xyz, i was really hurt". She flips out and says the same thing to my mom.

Now, my mom doesn't get to see her much, not because she lives far away, she doesnt. infact shes only a 15 min drive from us. But my sister is so busy, she's a socialite and is always at birthday parties and luncheons, parties, etc etc. So when she drops by its uusally for like 10 mins and my mom likes spending time with her because my mom doesnt have friends. My dad is sick, so she's normally taking care of him.

I'm temporarily staying with my parents. But in the past it has occured that this pattern repeats and my mom starts yelling at me "why did you have to do this? why did you start?? See, now she's leaving. all because of you.." (btw, I don't always start. Its just that you can't say anything to my sister, she's very aggressive).

Then, my sister runs out the door, my mom behind her begging her to come back in.. and finally after 10-15 mins of begging her, she'll come back in with this attitude towards me and my mom blaming me because she left.

excuse my french but, WHAT THE ****!!! I feel so hurt when this happens.

My sister manipulates my mother into thinking its my fault and so now I'm double hurt because my sister's being a b***h and my mom is too naive to see it or she ignores it just coz, idont know which one is true, but this really hurts me.

1. Can anyone suggest how I can deal with this situation??
2. Can anyone also please suggest me how to deal with the following situation: I'm moving to another city and its the city my sister is absolutely in love with. And NOW she wants to come and stay with me, even though she was so mean to me when I stayed with her a while back and I swore I'll never stay with her ever again, I barely talk to her, only if she's over.. that also SOMETIMES. How do i deal with this? I feel like if i say "no", the entire universe will collapse in my family.

3. It really really hurts me when an aquantaince says "Oh why're you bored here? You've got your sister!! come on! don't be bored" and I have to shut up and say "yes you're right" because I can't tell them that we don't get along. This really hurts me as it leads me to what I wish for that I never had, a sister/brother that is loving and supportive and doesn't constantly compete with me, which I never had.. then these feelings of sadness start sprouting... what do i do here?