I am due to start the job at the mailorder pharmacy on Monday. I still haven't decided how I feel about it. I am releived about the paychecks! I just hope they keep coming and don't end for quite a while. I saw my T last night and he asked me something about if I'll be okay working--meaning is it going to stress me out. I don't know. From the way he asked, I am guessing that he isn't very optimistic on if I'll be keeping this job. There's comfort. But it is good to "see" his opinion. That should help prepare me just in case. At least I know ahead of time what he thinks. I should have asked him specifically about his opinion, but he tries to be very supportive and I doubt that he would come straight out and be entirely honest on what he thinks will happen. He would word things so that I get an answer without an answer. That's ok. Maybe we'll surprise each other.

It takes too long applying for disability. I need money NOW so I have no choice but to take the job. I got the car fixed yesterday so I have heat again and can use the defroster when it snows so I'll be driving safely instead of blind. They gave me a small discount because of my situation at the garage so I only had to pay like $178 for a new blower. I know there are state funds available because an old, perverted ORS caseworker of mine used state funds to fix my breaks a few years ago. I wouldn't go back to him, but tell ya, its been tempting to do it just so I'd get the extra funds for anything. I don't like to play those games that he wanted though--I don't want to date my caseworkers.