Zen: I think the note was a good idea and your husband's reaction explains why you were hesitant to discuss the issue in the first place. I know money is an issue for so many people, but it really does not have to be, regardless of whether you have it or not. I am lucky that my husband and I have never had a problem with this issue. I tend to be a lot more cautious about money than he is, but over the years, he has become much more conservative. Initially, he would not pay his bills and incurred late fees and interest charges. I took over the finances and when he saw how upsetting it was to me when he would spend a lot of money, he started discussing the spending with me beforehand. Now, we have more money and can afford many more things, but no major purchases are made unless we both feel 100% comfortable. I know it is hard, but you have to try to convince your husband that just because there may be financial issues, it does not mean it is his fault or your fault. You just both need to work together so you can feel more comfortable and try not to make this into an emotional issue. Good luck.