Good news...

I saw my pdoc today and....it seems I am getting better...yes!!! She said I seem better - I can't believe it...More confident....

She finally got my hospital records and read them over, and said that she does not think I am going to have permanent problems, and that I do not need a medication increase...she is pulling me off my meds slowly.

She said that it is entirely situational, not biochemical...

I was really scared (more confused) because one or two people had suggested bipolar....the hospital treatment team confirmed PTSD....(but they didn't tell me!)...argh...

And.....my therapist has been talking to me 2x a week and she said she can see me coming alive again...

I am not as "flat"....but it is coming out as emotional "vomit" (eww!)...as she likes to call it...Emotional roller coaster - I cry, I laugh - but the good thing is - I am experiencing emotions again - no more numbness....yes!!

....she actually said I am amusing...I like to make fun of myself.

What else can I do??

She said...how many clients do I get who know the lingo - it made me feel more like me - the aspiring therapist? Can I still do it? I ask myself this all of the time...