Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
(((((((((((((Squiggle)))))))))))))
My T told me a few months ago that we had to be better about time, and I totally freaked out in just the same way. I heard all kind of messages "I just realized I was giving you a gift by mistake, and I don't want to do that, EVER, so I am taking it back", "You are taking advantage of me and my time", etc. etc. I posted about it here a bunch, actually. It really threw me for a loop.
T and I talked about it A LOT. He really was just trying to be a better time manager. But, wow, did I spiral out about it.
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Since my therapist is a small private practice operating through our church organization, she can be flexible with time. I often look at my watch during our sessions. Mainly because if I am fixing to talk about something that may take a little while, I don't want to open up that can of worms if I only have 10 minutes left.
She sees me do this. She sees that I am on the edge of really getting to a break through, she notices me look at my watch and ALWAYS says, "We have time. You have come too far. Don't shut down. Keep going."
The first 6 sessions or so, we had to end in one hour because I couldn't get to her office any sooner. The building closed one hour after my appointment, so we had to stop no matter what was going on.
I told her how rushed I felt. She said that when summer came (and I was off work), we could take our time and really talk with feeling rushed. Ever since then, we normally go about an hour and a half. SHE is the one who started this, and SHE is the one who always tells me not to worry about the time (when I am looking at my watch).
I am laughing hysterically at how utterly ridiculous I am acting! She meant NOTHING by her comment at all, she is NOT saying that we are going to stop exactly in one hour from now on, she is NOT getting tired of me, she just had another obligation that ONE day and wanted to give me a heads up so that I was not offended when she said something like, "Can we stop here, and take this up next time?"
To be honest, I am in total LOCK DOWN mode. I have totally shut myself off from therapy. I don't want to do any assignments, I am NOT emailing her, and I don't want to ever speak to her again.
Is this not hysterical! I am acting like the 8 year old kids that I work with everyday. They get into these tiffs with each other over things that don't amount to a hill of beans! I am the mediator, the one who gets things back on track, and hopefully does not hurt anyone's feelings. If I do end up hurting their feelings, I have to tell them, "We are not discussing this anymore." And then, I let them sulk and boohoo until they get over it. By the next day, they are back to being best friends!