O. K. sweetie, I'm just going to jump in. You said you are seeing a therapist. You need a good pyschiatrist. A really good one. I don't mean to be dramatic or pessimistic, but, what you have described to me sounds like schizophrnia. Now, don't be scared by that term. My sister has this disease and I have observed her behavior all her life. With early diagnosis and proper medication the condition can now be controlled and those affliced can lead normal lives (relatively speaking, you would probably need therapy and meds over your lifetime.) One very important element is early detection and treatment. If this is your problem, you do have a difficult road ahead, but things can improve 100%. Please seek a second opinion from another mental health care provider if at all possible. I have lived with the paid my sister suffered for years because she was not diagnosed till her 30's. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please keep us posted. I am now extremely concerned about you. Please feel free to send me a private message if you like.