The more unhealthy the relationship is the harder the breakup. Give yourself time. Realise that the pain you feel is also due to the hurt and negative experiences he exposed you to.

To me it sounds like you knew he was not good for you and also not good enough for you and you unconciously ended it by telling the wife. I think you were too weak to end it so you resorted to an action that will cause it to end. Now - if this it true please do not be harsh on yourself. You have done the right thing. You are free from abuse and ache and his illness to start a healthier chapter. It will take time but u will feel better. I m hugging u x