Dear Ms. Futz,
You are moving in the right direction. The pain is real and hurts your heart and tugs at it's strings. Try not to stray from the very healthy plans you have put in place. Stay in close contact with your sister. She's your stable support system.
I know I'm not physically there with you, but would my arms do? I would wrap them around you and encourage you to have a good cry. My shoulders are wide.
Love you Futzie!