Sept I know you want to do the cooking as mom but IF they really don't care then just have a nice time with them and if its 1 hr its some compromise...Like I was telling someone else .....last time I won a time to get together xmas my brother died on Jan 2nd...so what did I win....better to say screw the time..screw the food..lets just BE together and BE ...Doesnt really matter who wins..when you cannot see them the next xmas..wont matter on the wife...none of it I KNOW I have been in close shoes to yours. Just let it be so you can BE with family and enjoy them warts and all..I seldom come to this area of PC because I have lost my family in a lot of sudden ways and I see it from a different angle one only those who have lost it all can see