Thank you all for your feedback and your supporrt. Each day seems to get easier just like Eskie said. And yes, Notz, I feel your arms around me.

I agree that it wan't love and love takes time to get to know eachother. I guess the lesson I learned is that "love" ffairs still hurt even when you kniw it is infatuation.

I just got involved with a really pretty sick man. He couldn't tell me about himself, but he could tell me about his love afairs in all it's nasty graphic details. I am glad I don't have to hear anymore about that.

Today ws the furst day we had no contact, Huray for small victories.

I am giving myself permission to grieve as well as tying up loose ends here in Ausin.

Yeah, I think I subcouncously wanted to break up with him and I think I did that girl a real favor by letting her know her own husband was calling her crazy and psychotic for thinking my ex and her hysband were together.

I'm sure I will have struggles for a while, but I think the really painful part is over. I don't ever think this man will have a true loving relationship with anyone unless he does some really hard work,

I'll keep you posted on my progress and hugs to you all for your support.