I can't stop cutting myself. Recently I have been having arguments with a friend. On msn, he has been ignoring me. He finally chat to me and he said that he has been ignoring me to see me explode. He also called me hella boring. (Wtf does that mean lol). I can't help these emotions. One moment I'm happy and then one moment I'm upset and saying "I'm better off dead" or "I'm ugly". I've been having arguments with my boyfriend, I still love him and I don't want to lose him. I'm the ***** that starts the arguments. I'm just a selfish stuck up *****. Thats me.I know this is stupid, it really does. I keep cutting myself. If someone like that person on msn calls me a name or ignores me, I cut myself. I cut myself to get rid of the emotional pain. When I bleed I feel better. When I see my own blood I know I have achieved something, I love it when I bleed. When I cut myself, it used to be little scratches but now I just want to cut deeper. This is all thanks to my friend back in high school, she self harmed and I saw them and now I copied her. I just wanted to post this to get if off my chest. I know I'm an attention seeker and I sometimes deserve to die.