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Leed · Jan 27, 2011, 07:15 AM

Bless your sweet heart. Honey, I know exactly where you're coming from.
You're are darned if you do and darned if you don't. If you tell your parents, they freak out. If you don't tell them they accuse you of hiding something, and they freak out.

Sweetie, kids don't come with an instruction manual. We parents make HUGE mistakes when bringing up our kids. We try SO hard to bring our kids up to be good, responsible people -- but what we are doing is damaging them permanently because we don't know what the heck we're doing!!! We're pushing our kids farther and farther away from us. We ask them to open up to us, and when they do, we PUNISH them!!! What kind of a signal is that sending to the kids??? It's INSANE!!!

I always told my kids that I could handle ANYTHING but a lie. Don't tell me a lie, because I cannot cope with that. If you lie to me, you WILL get punished. If you tell me the truth, I will respect you and we will work together on whatever it is you tell me. Half the time, they still lied to me. Not a FINGER was ever laid on my kids -- so they were NEVER spanked or hit. Their biggest concern was losing phone priveleges.

Parents cannot DEMAND respect from their kids. My ex used to think he could. But respect has to be earned -- it has to be earned by the parents AND by the kids. Just because you are parents doesn't automatically put respect on your list of attributes.

Honey, you DO deserve all the things you have!!! Your parents had the DUTY to give you everything that they could -- they brought you into this world ~ so it's their job to see to it that your life is made BETTER than theirs!!! EVERY parent has that duty. And yes, you CAN enjoy those things!! They are YOURS to enjoy. When you have children, you too will have that duty.

You are NOT a bitter disappointment to your parents ~ Your parents are a bitter disappointment to YOU. It sounds to me like every time you turn around, you're being punished!! Maybe it's justified, maybe it's NOT. But continual punishment isn't getting ANYTHING solved. Right?? Right! It seems to me like some middle ground has to be met. And that can only be done with a counselor. Do you think that perhaps all 3 of you could possibly see a counselor -- a family counselor?? It sounds like you may need it. If they won't go, would YOU go? I think perhaps you have some issues that you need to talk about with a 3rd party. Talk to your folks about it. They SHOULD agree!!

I wish you the very best - I'm on your side. Please keep us posted okay?? God bless and please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee