I have had that exact problem with my own cat(s). My first cat I was severe with for little "cat" things and realized in its and my 15+ year relationship that I was replaying my stepmother's and my relationship (where I was the stepmother). My therapy was very helpful in getting me to understand.

My current cats; the one I adopted specifically because it was so fearful, it approaches one, badly wanting to be stroked but then skitters away, just out of one's reach. It reminded me of myself and how I behaved in therapy and, already understanding how I had related to my previous cat, it intrigued me and I thought it might be helpful in teaching me more about myself and how I'd like others to relate to me or me to others. I named it after my great grandmother, who was named my "favorite" name.

My second cat is very gregarious and big on wrapping itself around my legs as you say, almost tripping me. I yell at it and tell it that the first time it trips me, it's "gone"! I do not feel bad pushing it out of the way with my foot (not kicking it, literally pushing/shoving it).

I would discuss the cat with your roommate and the problem with your therapist if you have one. I would think of a few things to remind yourself of the separateness of yourself from the cat and how it's "just" a cat and not a person. I would figure out ways to deal with its behaviors (pick it up and put it in a room away from you and shut the door if it habitually exhibits a certain behavior at a certain time that is not good for you. My cats do not like their cat carries, it means they are going to the vet :-) They immediately go and hide. Make the cat go and "hide" every time you are going to walk down the steps (my male cat is afraid of water; you might get a squirt gun to use if the cat is doing something you don't like).

There's no need to be cruel; but it's your space and the cat lives there "free". The cat must behave to your liking or it can't live there?