When I am manic, I decide I no longer "need" my husband. I get irritated at everything he does. I imagine scenarios where he is cheating on me. I give myself "reason" not to love him, so that I can move on to my own agenda. When I come crashing down, at first I am so thankful he's still around and I am the most loving wife ever. Then as the depression gets deeper, I withdraw. There are times when I think it must really suck to be married to me. It can't be an easy thing to share your life like that. All I can tell you is to try to love him, but take care of yourself, too.